So I am an inherently lazy individual, I'll figure out how to make or substitute ingredients because my chubby ass is too damn lazy to go on a hunt or too broke to buy the things I need (don't judge me, I'm on the wages of a mere line cook, come at me bro). Hell homeslices and slicettes, it for real knows no bounds; Example: I learned how to make whipped cream from aquafaba, not because I'm a vegan, but because it was 1130 at night and I wanted some mother fucking whipped cream. Anywho... this was such my dilemma today. I had this notion of making something Asian inspired and really needed some Gochujang. An oddly specific, yet versatile and delicious ingredient that of course I don't have in my arsenal of Asian ingredients. For fucking real though? I was really surprised I didn't have it, coconut aminos? I had that, miso paste? Check... But actual Gochujang? Nah sistah, it was like fishing in a puddle, I caught not a damn thing. Anyhow, I digress...
There I was standing in my kitchen shoveling Graham Cracker bunnies in my face hole doing a search on how to make it. Why was I doing that you might ask? Because bunny graham's are delicious and I literally did not want to get out of my pajamas. So I found three pretty solid recipes, made a couple of modifications and adjustment since I apparently don't know how to just leave shit the hell alone upon first glance (oooo look shiny squirrel!). This is a problem I have I know, also a story for another time kiddies. Shhh, shhhhhh... No words, just emotions.
Now before we get down to the bizzzzznass, I will say that this is not by any means traditional, it is however pretty good with it's spicy-sweet self and stupid easy to make. No joke, it's throw the ingredients in a blender like so:
This recipe makes about 1 cup which can be stored in the refrigerator for two weeks or freezer for 1 month.
2/3 c Miso Paste
1/4 c maple syrup
3 TBSP Honey
2 TBSP Smoked Paprika
1/4-1/3 c Red chili flakes (though if you have Korean chili flakes on hand use those, I promise you it'll be 10 times better)
4 Cloves garlic minced
1/4 cup coconut aminos
2 TBSP water
Directions:
Throw all that shit in the blender and blend until it's as smooth as your significant others ass. Enjoy in a marinade or make into a sauce... 12 out of 10 would not recommend eating like peanut butter though, I'm just sayin' but not going to judge you if you do. The possibilities are amazing.
Now if y'all cool cats will excuse me, I am off to make some Korean inspired chicken wings for the fam. Much love from your sassy neighborhood line cook.
-Bitchin' Kitchen Witch